Do you need to get your spouse to agree to mediation? Are you trying to solve disputes to no avail? Is your spouse refusing to speak with you to resolve problems? In such cases, mediation can be the right option for you. Westover Law, expert family law attorneys, outlines tips to convince your spouse to participate in the mediation process.

Let the mediator contact your ex-partner

If your ex-spouse is unwilling to attend mediation with you, requesting the mediator to contact them can do the trick. This is because they will be more open and receptive to a neutral third party rather than an ex they are in conflict with. When tempers are flaring and spouses are sparring with each other, bringing up mediation is just considered a part of the argument. It is highly improbable that an angered spouse will be open to that. A call from a trained professional such as a mediator can really work wonders in moving the process forward.

Understanding the reasons why someone is reluctant to attend mediation

Not everyone is open to mediation and may have their reasons for being skeptical about the process. Given below are some of the common reasons why getting your spouse to agree to mediation can be so cumbersome:

  1. Many times, a spouse may feel that mediation is totally unnecessary as the disagreements are just part of the relationship. There is also a prejudice against a third party getting involved in personal matters related to marriage and relationships. 
  2. Most people may not feel comfortable talking about their feelings, conflicts, or issues in front of someone they have just met. However, the mediation process can make them feel more at ease as it is a more formal process than couples counseling or therapy. 
  3.   There is a fear of losing control as the mediator is in charge. However, once they go through a session, they realize that they are in control of the end results, agreements, or settlement.
  4.   Some people equate mediation to counseling and believe a mediator is trying to get couples back together. However, this misunderstanding must be clarified immediately. Mediation is the process of making decisions and coming up with an agreement to resolve a dispute.

A mediator can explain to an unwilling spouse that mediation is not about judgment and encourage them to be open and honest for a favorable result for both parties.

Proposing a specific mediator

Before you propose the idea of mediation to your spouse or ex-partner, it is recommended to do your research to find a mediator that will work for you and your family. Once you have a list of preferred mediators, encourage your spouse to choose one, based on recommendations, costs, and reviews. During the process of research, you may also have found your own favorites based on several factors. You can present these to your spouse with your recommendations and comments as well. 

For more information on how to get your spouse to agree to mediation, contact Westover Law.